I smoke, drink, & swear.

After all is said and done at the end of the day, what does all that matter. Not that I really do much of any of those, but I suppose I am in a controversial mode the last while.

 Been thinkin, yah know, about how society thinks they can deem what makes a man a man, how people can tell you you had better attend church if you are a christian, and you better mind yer P's and Q's. I tell my kids to mind theirs, but mostly cuz I don't want them to go through that whole stage of feelin judged by society. In truth, I don't think a lot of it really matters in the bigger picture; the "God view", if you will. Love God and love others rights? So why must we take that to mean that we need to be Sunday Christians? I am personally tired of the "pay yer tithe, and give above and beyond if you want to be blessed" speech. I don't want to get into the semantics, but lets just say I don't personally think it has a biblical leg to stand on. And the heart of a man cannot be judged by the little habits he has. Not sayin they are a good thing, but sometimes I just want to tell people to grow up and take the log out of their own eye. This isn't an easy world to live in, thats a fact, and if a man needs a few vices to get him through the day, who the hell are we to judge?

Love,
Your raging son

I often wonder

I wonder all the time about you. How you are doing, what you are up to. Do you go to church at all anymore? Is it a good life out there, or do you spend lots of lonely nights wishing you could change the path you took? Do you miss mom? Do you miss us? Do you miss your brother?

 I know you never had it as easy as some of your family did, and I can imagine that ol' 18 wheeler doesn't seem to friendly some days. Would you do it different? And from what point?

 I suppose I ask cuz I miss us. I watch my son growing up and it breaks my heart to think I missed that time with you. Even worse to think that years down the road he could be far away from me and I wouldn't be there for him. I don't blame you for doing things the way you did. I just miss us.

 P.S. David shuts my computer off and solemnly says "No", when he decides it is time to play.

Hey Pops, this isn't much of a first letter, but I wanted to start somewhere. Nights have been to long lately, and for all the dumb reasons. I have a life you would never have guessed. Hell, I'd never have guessed it. But its late and I want to start being less of an idiot, so I'll start the explanations tomorrow. FFor now I'll just say this: Not every journey has a glorious beginning.

 Love, your highly over-rated son,

 John.